This Is Love This Is Life
by The Devils Song
Summary: For AoGA's February Prompt of the Month Contest. This feeling was wrong. He's Mikan's boyfriend and Mikan is my whole world. "Oh, it's gonna be alright. This is love, this is life!"


This Is Love This Is Life

"_Oh, it's gonna be alright. This is love, this is life!_"

Mikan danced around the empty classroom, singing her heart out. She'd been singing this song everyday for a year now, but somehow she hadn't gotten sick of it. I wondered if maybe, just maybe, she'd been singing this for a reason. Then again, this was Mikan. She probably just likes Bon Jovi's looks.

As she continued to sing, I decided I should show myself before somebody saw me in my awkward position of peeking into the classroom, my body halfway-in. I opened the door just loud enough for her to notice me and walked inside.

Mikan stopped dancing and singing to turn to me. Her long brunette hair twirled around with her, like a second head. "Oh, Hotaru! You scared me!" She smiled brightly and merrily skipped her way over to me. "Do you have photography club after school?"

"Yes," I said monotonously. "I won't be walking home with you." Her disappointment was so obvious it was almost tangible, but of course, she still smiled. Guilt wormed it's way into my mind, but I pushed it aside. I was lead photographer - I couldn't miss a second of club time.

"That's alright! I'll walk home with Natsume."

Ugh. Natsume Hyuuga. Her new boyfriend. I hated that guy with every fibre of my being. Mikan had been my best friend since childhood. How dare he just swoop in and take up all of her time? Mikan Sakura is _mine_. But he made her happy, so I resisted beating him into a pulp.

"Be careful," I whispered, knowing she wouldn't hear me. It just felt better to say it out loud.

* * *

><p>"Well, well, well," drawled a husky voice from the door.<p>

I glanced up to see Hyuuga's annoying face at the entrance of the photography club. He leaned against the white door frame with one arm propped against the side, causing his dark blue t-shirt to ride up a bit and show a tantalising glimpse of his abs. It took a lot of restraint to turn away from the sight. All of the members had gone home already, but I had extra work to do. "What is it, Hyuuga?"

He gave me a bored stare and walked forward. "Mikan was upset this afternoon. Can't you spare five minutes to walk her home?"

I scoffed. "What, too lazy to do it yourself? Get out of here." She was my best friend! He didn't need to tell me about her feelings. I knew them perfectly well.

Hyuuga glared at me. "She needs more time with you. A boyfriend isn't enough; she needs her best friend, Imai."

"Cry me a river." I got up, walking over to the photocopyer. "Can't you see that I'm busy? Leave now." Two rough hands grabbed my wrists and pinned me to a wall. Hyuuga's red eyes started determindly down at me. My heart almost lept out of my chest as fear consumed me, but I didn't let it show. I stared coldly at him, daring him to keep me here any longer.

"She loves you more than she does me," he growled, tightening his grip. I almsot winced. "Make. Her. Happy."

"That's your job," I said. "I'm only here for when you break her heart."

"And why do you think I'll do that?" His grip loosened enough for me to break free and take a step away, but his gaze pinned me to the spot almost as hard as his hands had. Even though I was no longer caged, my heart continued to thump in my chest.

I stared defiantly up at him. "Because all men are the same." With that I grabbed my bag and marched out the door, not looking back.

* * *

><p>The weeks passed with frequent visits from Hyuuga. Every time I was alone in the photography room, he'd command me to spare more time for my best friend. She was <em>my <em>best friend! I knew what I was doing. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

Even though I was frustrated beyond what should be humanly possible, I had do admit, at least inside my head, that I kind of enjoyed his visits. In some sick, twisted way, I liked it. He was paying attention to me and that made me morbidly happy. I didn't even feel scared when he caged me or yelled at me. Instead I felt happy that somebody cared enough to bother with me, even if that care was directed to someone else.

This feeling was wrong, though. I mean, he was _Mikan_'s boyfriend. Mikan was my whole world. Since my mother died and my dad left, Mikan had been my whole world. She comforted me throughout mother's last days living with lung cancer and she cheered me up when dad vanished. She was truly the most precious person to me. How could I feel this way? It would break her hear to know.

She couldn't know that I loved Hyuuga's eyes. Or that I loved the way he was so devoted to making her happy. She couldn't know. She _wouldn't _know.

* * *

><p><em>"Did it happen?" she asked me as I cried.<em>

_"Yes," I said, my voice breaking. "She's gone now. Dad ran out on me - he couldn't take it, I guess."_

_She stared at me for a long time before she began to sing._

_"_Oh, it's gonna be alright.  
>This is love, this is life!<br>When times get tough it's still worth the fight.  
>This is love, this is life!<br>The road here's paved with the brokenhearted.  
>We gotta finished what we started.<br>Oh, better hold on tight.  
>This is love, this life!<em>"<em>

_Somehow, that song consoled me more than words ever could._

* * *

><p>"How many times do I have to come?"<p>

It was Hyuuga's visiting time again. "Look, Hyuuga-"

"Call me Natsume." I looked at him, shocked. I'm sure I was blushing. He just stared at me with his carefully blank face. "I think we know each other well enough by now to call each other by first name."

I looked down at the photos in my hand. "I don't want to. Goodbye, Hyuuga." Calling him Natsume would only bring my heart closer to his. I couldn't do that. I needed to destroy this feelings.

"Why not?" he asked, walking closer to me. I stood up and tried to keep myself in check.

"Because I don't want to," I announced lamely.

Hyuuga smirked and leaned closer, probably to intimadate me. His raven bangs gently brushed my forehead. To my dismay, the touch made me shiver in delight and by the triumphant look in his eyes, he noticed. "It's easy," he whispered smugly. "Three syllables. Nat-su-me." I stared at his full lips as he pronounced those three syllables slowly once again.

I couldn't help it. I didn't know exactly when or how it had happened, but I managed to find myself in the circle of his arms, kissing him rougly. I'm not even sure who initiated it. But he kissed me back, battling my tongue with his. My hands were tangled in his soft hair; one of his hands was on the back of my neck, the other around my waist.

He leaned me back on the table and I couldn't find it in me to resist. I knew I had to, though. This was wrong. Mikan would hate me if she found out. She'd never talk to me again. The thought of that pain hit me so hard that I pushed him off me and ran to the other side of the small room, breathing hard.

"What?" he said, disgruntled.

"I-I can't," I said. "I can't do this to her! Mikan is my whole world. I can't hurt her." I buried my face in my hands and slid down the wall. My cheeks were wet. I hadn't even realised I was crying.

"It'll hurt her more if we don't do this," Natsume admitted seriously. He crouched down in front of me and pulled my hands away from my face.

My heart pounded so hard that I thought the sound would be heard all the way in America. "What do you mean? How could that hurt her more? She loves you, Nastume!"

"But she loves you more!" he yelled. "And so do I. Hotaru, I've fallen in love with you. I can tell that you love me too. It'll hurt Mikan more if I continue to date her and lie about my feelings."

He made so much sense that I couldn't help but launch myself at him in a hug. Terrible sobs racked my body and he rubbed soothing circles on my back. "We have to tell her," I said after the sobs had died down.

"I know," he whispered sadly. "I know."

* * *

><p>Natsume and I sat in Mikan's room, heads down, watching her slipper-clad feet pace back and forth. "So," she said, sounding oddly calm. "You've been visitng Hotaru about me, but somewhere along the way, you fell in love with her."<p>

"Yes," he said guiltily, squeezing my hand. The gesture gave me a second of hope.

"And you," she started, turning to me, "fell in love with him as well somewhere along the way."

I nodded, unable to speak. The guilt almost consumed me. I don't know why I did it, but I wouldn't take it back. I loved Nastume with every fibre of my being. But I loved Mikan too, and I wished she would forgive me against hope.

"And the both of you," her voice rised in volume, "decided not to tell me. Nobody broke up with me out of kindness. Nobody told me of their feelings for my boyfriend. Both of you just decided, 'Hey, let's have a make-out session. Mikan won't mind!' How could you?"

Her hazel eyes blazed with fury and I sunk far back as the wall would let me. "I wanted to," I said, looking up at her. "I wanted to so badly. But I didn't want to hurt you. You were my world and I only realised too late that my world had grown to include him. I love him. I understand if you never talk to me again, never forgive me, but please, _please _don't hate him. I'm at fault."

Natsume raised his head. "No. I'm at fault too. I deserve your hate. I love Hotaru and no matter how much it hurts to do this, I won't give her up."

Mikan paused for a moment, staring at us, before sinking to her knees on the cold wooden floor. Her head lowered and her shoulders began to shake. I reached out to her, not wanting her to cry, before she raised her head and I saw her smile. She was _laughing_!

"I love the both of you. But I've realised, I only loved Natsume as a brother. You have my blessings."

The relief that sentence brought was so immense that I nearly collapsed. I didn't know how emotionally exhausted I had been until now. I loved Natsume, he loved me and we had Mikan's blessings. It didn't mean she forgave me, but it was enough. And as I glanced at Natsume, seeing the relief and love in his eyes, I knew we would be together a long time. Even if Mikan hadn't given us her blessings, I couldn't have let go of him, not ever.

"_Oh, it's gonna be alright. This is love, this is life!_"

And in that moment, I knew we were forgiven.

* * *

><p>AN: This is for AoGA's February Prompt of the Month Contest. This month's prompt was Reconciliation. The way the winners are chosen is through **poll votes **(March 6th - March 13th) and **reviews**. So if you review (and I hope you will) please make your review is at least **three sentences **long or it won't be counted. Thank you!

DISCLAIMED: I don't own Gakuen Alice or the song This is Love This is Life. They are owned by Higuchi Tachibana and Bon Jovi respectively.

Remember to **review**.


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